Stephanie Willa Roller Bruner

I was in Hutchinson yesterday Steph.  I routinely pass by the hospital there and never notice it but it caught my eye today.   Oh, yea, that's where Cari had her babies.  And then I remembered how you and Cari were due at the same time.  Ernie and I drove to CO to bring you a crib set as well as to wait for your giving birth.  Since I could easily fly back you sent us homeward after a few days.  The morning we arrived back home I called and Cari was in the hospital giving birth.  I showered and then drove there and got to see the new family.  I really thought it was weird that such a strong memory of you was triggered by a hospital that I ignored, never see, always.  Then I was in Shopco and saw one piece pajamas for adults.  That took me back to the pair that I bought at a garage sale for a dollar and thought Steph would have so much fun wearing these with Ellie as a toddler.  Not true!!  They weren't practical when bathroom needs arise and you never wore them.  When Dillon and Nicole were with us for awhile you handed them back to me and said you wear them and see how much fun they are :)  I never did but what a good chuckle and smile they gave.  And then I went into Target and I was literally transplanted into Silverthorne Target.  The dollar store reminded me of when you and I were there and I was telling you how much I loved that section and you said you did too.  And throughout Target I saw only the layout of your store.  It was so clear including the parking lot memories.  The many weeks I stayed with you, the Target store was our convenience store.   And finally when I was in Walmart, I was hit with the memory of my first trip to a store after I got out of the hospital.  You had come to help me recover at Cari's and we went grocery shopping.  I rode the handicap cart and felt so alive as I was able to move about freely.  You had such a big grin watching me have fun, glad to have me alive.  I knew you would be with me in the wind and in unexpected places but I never would have expected you to be with me so strongly in Hutchinson.  I knew the tears would still fall now and then as I remember but yesterday the dam broke as well as when I write this.  It doesn't hurt anymore, I just expected so many more future years with you.  You have given us an adventure of a lifetime that was never expected.  I will make it a good one because I know you and I both would expect that of me.  Loving you always.

I met Stephanie at the beginning of our freshman year and we remained friends throughout college. Stephanie was never afraid to look silly and was never one for vanity. One night as we were getting ready to go out to a party I remember Stephanie shared that one should always wear lipstick because "it brings out your eyes". I don't know why but over the years this exchange has come to mind anytime I've applied lipstick. Steph was fun-loving, willing to put herself "out there" to meet new people. She embraced life and I always admired her spirit of adventure. I've learned from reading these memories that I am not the only person Stephanie shared her Driver's License with. I was a nervous Nelly and Steph was calm and relaxed about the whole thing and we both got in to the bar at the same time that night! I have no idea how we pulled that off! I am better for having known you Steph. You were such an important part of my "growing up" years. I will continue to remember your smile and your sparkling eyes...particularly when I apply my lipstick. :-)

Every time I think of the Rollers, I smile.  While most of my "Roller memories" are of times spent with Cari, my memories of Stephanie come from our interactions in fine arts at school.  She was very talented and dedicated, lots of compassion and always ready with a warm smile.  She was a gem.  I remember Stephanie the Cheerleader, and I also remember hanging out with Cathy, Ramona and Stephanie at Jackpot Junction one night during some crazy hypnotist show many years later... I think my mind was erased that night (LOL), so I don't remember much except that Stephanie was just as sweet then, too.  From what I've read, she managed to maintain that rare spirit all throughout her life.  So beautiful and inspiring to see her life continue to shine in so many hearts and minds here.  (You are much to be admired, Stephanie!)

I remember about 2 years ago when I was visiting you in CO you had to teach your partner dance class, so I came along with you. I was your temporary partner and you taught the class with such style and grace. You also taught me the Charleston on that trip and last Saturday, I got to see your daughter, Ellie, dance the Charleston. She resembled you so much. Thank God we have them here to live in your grace. I love you dear sista!

One time when I was visiting her a couple of years ago we were in the living room talking and she looked or acted kind of weary.  I motioned at her with my forefinger to come here and then patted my lap telling her to sit on it.  She laughed a bit and protested that she was too heavy.  I wouldn't let her say no.  I got her in my lap and then I cuddled her and hugged her and rocked her like a child.  She got up after a few minutes and said she liked that.  It felt good.  I don't know if it was the same time or another time but Ellie saw her sitting in my lap and raised her eyes as in weird?  We laughed and Stephanie said to her, this is my mommy just like I am your mommy.  And with that, Ellie seemed to understand.  It was the mommy part that was necessary.  Since mom is what Steph called me normally, mommy conveyed that extra special feeling that children feel from their mothers when they are rocked and held.